


Remembering

by LesbianArsenal



Series: Drabbles [1]
Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: All Relationships mentioned in the tags are honestly barely mentioned, Almost Canon-Compliant, DC Comics Rebirth, Does anyone understand what's happening with this timeline?, F/M, M/M, Memory Alteration, Multi, Past Relationship(s), Team Bonding, Team as Family, Titans, no?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-15
Updated: 2016-09-15
Packaged: 2018-08-15 03:33:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8040880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LesbianArsenal/pseuds/LesbianArsenal
Summary: The Titans are together again! But, why does Roy feel like he's in a struggle against himself?





	Remembering

Garth laughed as he almost spit out the pizza in his mouth. Dick glared at him from his position on the ground, knocked down by Donna’s over-enthusiastic clap on his back. Donna chuckled as Dick lifted himself back onto the couch, gracefully flipping himself back around. Wally was talking to Lilith across the room, but still managed to roll his eyes at the show-off. God, it felt good to be back with these guys, but something felt off. Roy smiled at everyone, but turned his head toward the window. He still felt every ounce of hurt and pain, or maybe it was heartbreak? Roy shook off the feeling and tried to forget about that warehouse, those people, that one…

When Roy turned his attention back to the room, he saw Dick’s eyes on him. Dick gave him a quizzical look and Roy simply smiled and plopped his hat on Dick’s head and turned it around. Dick smiled, but Roy knew that it wasn’t going to be the end of it.

The truth is, everyone was getting these feelings. When Wally came back, or re-appeared, or whatever it was that happened, everyone had been affected. Or at least, everyone in this room. He knew Donna had been having a hard time with her memories. They remembered each other, what they were to each other, once, long ago, or maybe in another life time? Roy had missed them all without knowing it.

Roy itched his arm, and looked down. He saw the old track-mark scars on his arm, and he remembered the anger and frustration that had led to them. He also remembered a different hurt, a similar state of mind, but that was met with memories of burning throats and Killer Croc of all things. That train of foggy thought only brought a stronger memory to the surface and he shook it off.

“Gonna go to the roof, smells like sweat and burnt pizza in here,” Roy joked as he gave a two-finger salute.

“That’s what you get for leaving Dick in charge of the pizza!” Wally laughed, catching the pillow that was aimed for his face. Roy smiled and left the room, finding the stairs. He knew he was being followed, but he continued his ascent. He opened the door to the roof, holding it open for his company. He could hear the slight hesitation, but then saw Donna emerge. He had half-expected it to be Dick instead, for a reason he can’t quite place. She wordlessly stepped to the edge, sitting down to take in the city. Roy sighed, standing next to her, arms crossed.

“I feel the same things,” Donna started, looking up at Roy, “None of this feels wrong, but it doesn’t feel quite right either.” Roy grunted in response. He knew the others felt the same way, maybe some more than others. He didn’t think it got to any of them like it got to him though. Maybe that was self-centered, but they had all discussed how bizarre it was to forget a friend. What was stranger was when the world couldn’t remember them, or them as a team. It was probably weirdest for Wally, but Roy couldn’t wrap his mind around that at all.

“You know, I keep thinking this is where we all belonged all along,” Roy was stirred from his thoughts as Donna started again, “But I can’t shake what happened. I talked to Diana about it,” Roy raised his eyebrows and Donna chuckled, “I can’t remember how I’m supposed to feel about that either.” Her voice sounded almost sad near the end of her sentence. “She said she was feeling the same way, pushed and pulled in so many directions. I told her to be careful, but I think even she saw the irony in that.” She grew quiet again, probably losing herself in her own thoughts.

“Do you think we’re supposed to forget?” Roy finally asked, his voice straining slightly. Donna glanced up at him and shrugged. She reminded Roy of…someone, maybe he was supposed to remember? Maybe he did remember, green eyes and hot skin, maybe he remembered in a way he wasn’t supposed to.

“It feels like history is re-writing itself even as time moves forward,” Garth offered. Roy whipped his head to see the Atlantean standing near the door. Donna nods her head once, looking back to Roy. He looked up at the sky. Garth moved to stand closer to the other two. Roy could feel his conflicting thoughts be tossed back and forth through his head.

“Wally only knows what he’s told us,” a fourth voice explained, “I don’t think he would hold anything back from us.” Roy’s knees felt weak as he felt Dick place his hand on his shoulder. He shook the thought that it wasn’t quite the right size.

“We were not implying that he was,” Donna offered, her voice a mix between annoyed and apologetic.

“You know, when I said I need air, it was code,” Roy sighed. Dick looked hurt, his eyes always betraying his emotions. Such an expressive face for a man who had spent his life behind a mask.

“We’re all hurting Roy,” Donna grabbed Roy’s hand. It was comforting, Roy remembered that it was comforting. Garth nodded once and folded his arms, Roy knew that meant he was trying to be comforting as well. Dick’s hand had not left Roy’s shoulder.

Wally and Lilith opened the door to the roof. Wally looked sad, distant. They were most likely back at trying to decipher Wally’s memories.

“I didn’t think that breaking through would feel so…conflicted,” Wally offered, almost as an apology.

“Don’t be sorry for trying to exist, man,” Roy snapped back, “Yeah, we’re all trying to figure out where we fit with each other, what memories to believe and which to throw out, but that don’t mean I don’t appreciate you givin’ ‘em back.”

“Roy is right, which is a sentence I didn’t think I would be saying,” Garth said. Dick snorted and looked up at the sky himself. “We have each other now, which is more than any of us had before.”

“That’s true,” Donna offered, leaving unsaid what each of them felt, that they were all lonely before Wally literally re-appeared in their life. A silence fell over the group. They were all working to try to figure out exactly what was happening, had happened, would happen? Things got complicated when time became a factor you couldn’t count on.

“Come on guys, there’s still some pizza that Dick didn’t ruin to be eaten. Let’s just enjoy being together again for a night, whatever is out there messing with everything can wait,” Wally said. Dick playfully punched Wally on the arm. Donna got up to join the others, and Garth took one more look at Roy before heading down himself. Lilith stayed quiet as the group left Roy standing on the roof, with Dick. Dick smiled his lop-sided smile and grabbed the hat still on his head. He lifted it up and placed it on Roy.

“I can’t figure out how much is real, Dick,” Roy said, staring into the eyes of his friend. Best friend? Maybe, once. Maybe never. Maybe again? Dick looked down.

“You know, we’ve all talked about what’s happened since we forgot each other, except you,” Dick sighed and perched on the roof’s edge. “Was it that bad? You told Garth that Ollie was different, told Donna about the drugs, hell you told Wally that you were a criminal!” He sounded almost jealous. “You haven’t told me a thing, haven’t told us who you were with all this time.” Roy shook his head. Dick was the same as he remembered him. He suddenly vaguely remembers something about a funeral, but that is even fuzzier than how he feels about Ollie, Oliver, Mr. Queen, however he was supposed to remember him.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to talk about it,” Roy offered lamely. He can’t bring himself to tell Dick about- No, he can’t even bare to think the name, names. He knows Dick remembers her, remembered her even then. Roy can’t tell if it was all some kind of weird dream. Dick seems to take him at his words though.

“Okay, then can you at least tell me how you fixed my microwave?”

“No, that I’m keeping a secret forever. Gotta keep me around for something, right?” Roy joked, the self-deprecating humor feeling slightly odd. By Dick’s face he knew it was slightly out of place too. “Come on, man, let’s eat some pizza and forget all our problems for a night.” Roy slapped Dick on the back, putting on a smile and trying to be reassuring. Roy knew, if he remembered right, that Dick would know he’s still hiding something, but he hoped Dick would still take the distraction. Dick nodded silently, and maybe Roy’s brain is playing tricks on him, but it felt like Dick leaned into his touch just slightly before moving to the door. Dick paused for a moment, probably to see if Roy would really follow him. Roy held up one finger and Dick closed the door.

Finally alone, Roy clutched his chest. He let the one word he had been holding in for the last two weeks out. His voice was barely audible, but it sounded like a stampede to Roy’s ears.

_Jason._

**Author's Note:**

> Oh God, this is the first fic I've written in so long. It's not beta'd and I'm not sure if I will continue this? Or incorporate it into a larger fic? For now, enjoy it as this tiny one-shot! Thanks!


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